Friday, December 27, 2013

Two months and too tired

The last month has been an even more challenging one. I think the adrenaline has worn off and the continuation of being in survival mode is finally taking a toll on me. I physically hurt everywhere, I'm in a constant state of tired and...well...I'm quite cranky at times. But guess what? It's not all about me anymore. Having children is a very selfless act and that's one thing you need to accept before being willing to even commit to the thought of bringing sweet babies into this world.

Even though this past month has been a trying one, Owen and Emmett bring me the utmost joy. They have become more alert and smile. They know my voice and according to Shaun, always try to find me when I enter a room where they can hear me. They both love to "work out". Tummy time and playing on the activity gym is fun for them, but what they really love is for you to hold them up while they bust out a ton of squats! They're going to have incredible quad muscles. They've also begun to find their voices. It's so adorable to hear them "oooo" and "ahhhh".

Owen
We have discovered that Owen is more the laid back type. He can easily entertain himself and always seems to be pondering things. I swear he sleeps with one eye open so that he doesn't miss taking something in. He seems to think every piece of this world is spectacular. He's also my tummy time animal. He can pick his head up like a champ and hold it for what seems like forever!

Emmett
Emmett is my sweet boy, but oh...so dramatic. He loves to be held and snuggled. Unfortunately, when things don't go perfectly for him he'll let you know with a loud cry that demands your attention. "My paci fell out!" "I need changed!" "You were holding me and now you're not holding me...come back here and pick me up!" I have no idea where he gets his flare for drama. When he's not being a drama queen, he is so angelic to look at. He has a way of melting my heart. He's not into tummy time as much as his brother (he prefers to do it while laying on your chest), but loves to be held up so he can do his baby squats.

I have had quite a bit of help this past month. My Dad and stepmom, Gwen, visited from PA and stayed for two weeks. My stepsister, Erin also came up from GA for a few days. We enjoyed their company and the extra hands. The boys loved the extra snuggles and my family enjoyed the bonding time it provided.

Having family around allowed Shaun and I to even get out for a few hours alone! We had dinner at a new joint in our neighborhood. It was like we were on a first date again and we didn't know what to talk about. We found ourselves looking at pictures of the boys on our phones and talking about them. My oh my, how times have changed. Even though we loved talking about our boys, we had to stop and get to know each other again. Sounds funny, but it's the truth. I am not (exactly) the same person I was before I had O and E and I know Shaun is not the same man. Babies change a marriage. When you are sleep deprived and have two little boys demanding your constant attention, it makes paying attention to your other half quite difficult. We're working on adjusting to our "new" marriage each and every day.

I wonder what the next month will bring? I'm assuming even more alertness, even more smiles and perhaps even more sleep! I look forward to the next month of learning and welcoming 2014 along with it. Happy two months Owen and Emmett! I wanted you more than you'll ever know...so I sent love to follow wherever you go. *That's a special line from the book we read to them while they were in the womb* :)

Emmett and Owen the day after their first Christmas






Tuesday, November 26, 2013

O and E: The First Month

Today marks one month with Owen and Emmett. It definitely flew by and why not? Your days go fast when they're filled with feedings, burpings, changing diapers, getting peed and pooped on, pumping for breast milk somewhere in between all of that, attempting to keep up with a semi-tidy house, laundry, finding time for my basic needs and also show some sort of affection towards that guy in my life...what's his name? Oh yeah, Shaun :) Here's what I've learned during the last month. It will be a quick list because, well, I've got twin boys! So, in no particular order, I've learned...

  • You can deeply love human beings that  you don't even really know just yet. Owen and Emmett have personalities, don't get me wrong, but the first month has been a lot of giving on my (and Shaun's) part. I'm looking forward to that first connection where they really look at me and smile because they think I rock! 
  • I can't imagine not having two babies to love. I would have a hard time sharing just one! 
  • Sometimes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Two babies crying at the same time can be a bit overwhelming at times. I have cried simply because they're crying! 
  • I can multitask like a champ. I thank my profession and being a woman for that. 
  • Cold tea is ok. 
  • I can now eat as fast as someone in the military. 
  • I've quickly become ambidextrous. 
  • I can feed two babies at one time. However, I have yet to master dual burping. 
  • If you let them cry...they're ok! 
  • If I let myself cry...I'm ok! 
  • Bumpy stroller walks are soothing for all. 
  • I can manage my big rig stroller and walking my pups all at the same time and no one gets hurt! 
  • Poop and pee can end up on walls. 
  • I have a hard time allowing people to help. I'm stubborn and like control over certain things. Thus, allowing people to help when I've found a good routine and schedule is a hardship. I'm working on it and improving. 
  • It truly takes a village. I have been amazed, but not shocked at the kindness of people during the last month. Family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances and strangers alike have checked in on us, brought us food, offered to walk our dogs and have even offered to babysit. Visitors have simply allowed me to shower while watching the boys and fed one so that I didn't have to feed two at the same time for a round. I am so grateful for the human beings that surround us. 
Obviously I've learned a lot and most of it is more than likely not listed above. Happy 1 month, Owen and Emmett. I love you, my little nuggets! 
Owen
Emmett







Monday, August 19, 2013

Time warp

My last post was in March. I was pregnant at the time when I wrote it, but it was still early so I didn't announce it. I had to laugh when I was reading the last post and saw the picture from the last Tir Na Nog 8k that I did. I was probably about 4 or 5 weeks pregnant in that little kilt! Hope the beer was put to good use in my womb.  

Fast forward. Tomorrow is the official start date of my third trimester. I can't believe it...the home stretch! I'm sure you all know by now, but Shaun and I are expecting twin boys soon. We are so excited and super scared all at the same time! It has been a whirlwind and I'm sure this whirlwind is small compared to the one that we're about to be in. Here's what has been going on in our Dunning whirlwind...

March 25: Our first ultrasound. We simply wanted confirmation that yes, we're expecting a bundle of joy and yes, it's a viable pregnancy. I remember looking at the screen and trying to make sense of it all when the lady said "This is a twin pregnancy." Simply stated. Needless to say, Shaun and I were shocked! In the eleven years we've been together, I've always teased Shaun that I'm "in line" for twins and to beware. We would always laugh, but walking into that appointment, not once did it cross our minds that we'd see two babies on that little screen! My maternal grandmother (Dorothy Luzier) had a twin brother. Supposedly, it skipped a generation and fell to me. Not sure how much truth there is in all of that "skip a generation" thing, but nonetheless, here they are! 
Our first ultrasound. Baby A and Baby B.

After that appointment, we stood in the parking lot stunned and hugging, only to part ways in our separate cars to head on with our daily lives. This appointment was just a simple confirmation and then they just kick you to the street with your head spinning! It was almost three weeks until our next appointment when we could ask all the questions we wanted. I remember it being such an exciting time, yet scary because there's nothing really there to see or feel. We had three weeks to think and torture ourselves with our own thoughts! Needless to say, we headed in to that second appointment with a handwritten (yes, I'm old school) list of questions. You don't have much time at these appointments, so write your questions down as you think of them at home or from wherever you are! 

Shaun cooking breakfast at MerleFest
We found some relief from our spinning thoughts at MerleFest. It was a small weekend getaway of camping, the most incredible bluegrass musicians and the simple company of my best friend. It was the first time we'd ever been there and it was super kid friendly so we look forward to taking our boys there one day! I had the tiniest "bump" so I remember it starting to feel real at that time. MerleFest was totally worth killing my immune system. Upon return from the weekend, I ended up with the nastiest cold and called out sick from work all three days I was scheduled. I'm one that rarely gets sick, but I got a true taste of a pregnant immune system. What makes it so bad is simply that nothing is safe to take! I credit my recovery to knocking myself out with Tylenol PM and the Neti Pot for irrigating my nasal passages. 

Scythian playing at MerleFest


 If our boys don't enjoy music, I will be stunned. Shortly after MerleFest, they had the pleasure of listening to Band of Horses and in June got to hear The Lumineers. Concerts are definitely different when you're expecting. There's just something about a concert and a good beer that go hand in hand. I find that putting a koozie on my Diet Dr. Pepper makes me feel like I'm part of the party.





The month of May brought on questions of how we wanted our birth to go. I knew I wanted a doula to be by our side for the experience, but during our interview with her, I didn't expect to be so dumbfounded. I quickly learned that I was pretty uneducated with birthing and how I wanted my birth experience to go. I have always thought of birthing as a natural thing for a woman to do, but anymore it seems like you have to put up a battle to do so. Let's face it, the hospital system is set up as a business so of course the system will do what they can do to get you in and out quickly (i.e. start Pitocin, schedule a C-section/push for a C-section when it may not be needed). With this said, letting labor progress naturally takes a long time and like Sweet Brown says, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" 

After meeting with Donna (our doula), she recommended I explore the Bradley Method. Of course I got home and went straight to google. At first, I remember thinking, "Oh geez. Sounds like some wacky crunchy granola crap." But as I kept doing more research and spoke with the instructor (Susan) for the local class, I realized that natural childbirth is the goal, but the method also recognizes the beauty of modern medicine in emergent or necessary situations. Sign us up! We have been enrolled in our Bradley class (a 12-week course) since June 8. We have learned many things and I feel ready to tackle this birth as if I were doin' it in the woods! Of course, our case is a little bit different since we're having twins, but we feel we have prepared ourselves to the best of our ability to have the best experience we can. With that said, I feel mentally prepared to handle whatever happens if it doesn't go the natural way I want it to. As long as our boys arrive healthy and I'm healthy, then I'll consider it a success! 
View from our cabin in Lexington, VA

May also brought us a little family time in Lexington, VA. My stepdad finished sprucing up a bed fame for us and this cute little town served as a midway point for us to pick it up and catch up a bit. We had an amazing time just relaxing, cooking, talking and exploring the town. 












Dumping the river out of my kayak
Sunset in Washington
A month later we had an extensive ultrasound and left with two envelopes that held the gender of baby A and baby B. We tortured ourselves for a few days and drove out to one of our favorite spots in Washington, NC (known as little Washington) to kayak out to a small park and discover what we were having. It was totally worth the wait! The drive there seemed to take forever (it's about 2 hours away). We quickly got the kayaks down, slathered on some sunscreen and paddled rather quickly to the spot. After I capsized my kayak and fell in the river (balance is a little bit trickier), Shaun spent the next 20 minutes dumping the water out while I was on land scoping out a special spot to open the envelopes. We sat down on a little bench and just went for it! I opened the Baby A envelope first and it was a boy! We sat there for a few minutes all giggly and excited and then Shaun opened the Baby B envelope to reveal another boy! Two boys! I called it! For the longest time, we had girl names picked out and zero boy names. I had a gut feeling that it would be two boys simply based on the fact that we had no names! Afterwards we called some family and friends with our exciting news and then of course, made it "Facebook official". That night we were on such a high! We ate dinner at one of our favorite joints and then checked in for a night at a bed and breakfast after enjoying the little downtown and seeing a gorgeous sunset. 


2 boys!
What an incredible journey so far. After the two boy reveal, time has done nothing but go faster. We had family baby showers in PA almost a month ago and felt so much love! It was a great time to make the long drive as I wasn't as uncomfortable as I am now. We got to spend time with so many people we love and the boys were showered with many things to welcome them into the world. We even had a maternity photo shoot with my mom and cousin, Jen as the photographers. Our family is beyond excited for the arrivals and we are so grateful for the support. I only wish they all lived closer :(

As I head into this last trimester, it's fun to reminisce as I write this. As my bump grows, I'm extremely uncomfortable doing anything at this point. But, I will say, the things that make me feel a little better are walking, yoga, massages and my pre-natal DVD workouts. I do everything super slow these days and find myself having to lay down and rest frequently to recharge a bit. It hasn't all been easy. Trust me. I have a permanent knot in the middle of my back that is relentless and I've been dealing with episodes where I nearly pass out that are now increasing in how often they happen. Don't worry, I'm ok and have learned today at our appointment that it's the boys are basically positioning themselves on things in my body that they shouldn't be. I just have to do things to try to get them to move so that I don't end up on the floor. As they get larger and larger, I just have to be more and more careful. On a more positive note, the ultrasound today showed us that both boys look great and weigh in at 2.4 pounds a piece!

I'm looking forward to continuing this amazing journey. We have been working like crazy on the nursery and I recently became a member of the Triangle Moms of Twins and Triplets (TMOTT). I only have a couple of resources for people that have recently had twins so this was a way for me to quickly gain more. I'll take all the help that I can get! I'm also looking forward to a baby shower with friends here in Raleigh and Shaun and I getting away for one last (kidless and dogless) getaway in Beaufort, NC. I believe this is referred to as a "baby moon" nowadays.

Hopefully my next post will not be months away. I know I probably write this after every entry. I'll try to be better...at least, until the boys get here ;) I have to remember that if I post more often, then the entries won't have to be as long! Thank you for reading...I think you deserve a bump picture. I tend not to post them on Facebook, but a lot of people give me crap for not posting a lot. So, if you want to see it, here it comes. If you don't want to see it, then don't look down! This was taken last week...
A week before the big 3rd Trimester! 







Monday, March 18, 2013

Cram Session

No blog post since January? For someone that has a poor memory, this should be an interesting post. Let me dig deep into my brain and see what I can retrieve.

February is such a short month, so of course it flew by. Shaun and I made an unfortunate trip home to say goodbye to my Grandma Luzier. It's always nice to head back home to see family, but it was a sad realization that the past couple of times we've been home have been for funerals. I guess it's just a part of growing up. My grandmother loved her husband deeply and now it's nice to know that maybe they're together again. It's always tough to say goodbye, but funerals also allow us to say hello to so many family members that we don't get to see often at all. It was so nice to be given so many hugs and reminisce. It was especially nice to see my Grandma Plubell. She's still highly active and enjoys fishing and dancing...such an inspiration!
My Grandma Plubell 
February also brought a new hobby...riding lessons! Some of you may or may not know, but I grew up with horses, but at the time when I was really learning to ride, my parents divorced and I moved on to the big city of Clearfield and just sort of parted ways with riding. I've always had this yearning to get back on a horse. Sure, I've been on plenty of group trail rides throughout the years, but what I really wanted was to learn was how to properly ride and jump. When I started nursing school years ago, I told Shaun that when I finished and got a job that I would take lessons. Well, I've been at my job almost two years now and finally signed up! Last year I got a coupon for four 30-minute lessons and I was hoping that if those went well and I liked the facility and the instructor that I would continue riding. It all worked out and it's been amazing and something I look forward to every single week! I forgot how hard it is...there are so many things to remember while you're up there! It's been therapeutic in many ways.

Ok, that's all I really remember about that month so let's move on to March.

The first weekend began with another Run Green 8K put on by one of our favorite bars, Tir Na Nog. Yet again I didn't do any running prior to the race, but yet again survived! I'm so lucky that I am still able to just get out there and run 5 miles. My body hates it, but I'm still very thankful that I'm healthy enough to do it! We've signed up for this particular race since it began a few years ago, but this year the race attempted to break the Guinness World Record for most kilted runners. We came up 200 people short, but it was so much fun to see so many people in kilts...especially my love!

March has also been full of visitors from PA! Over the second weekend, Shaun's sister, Kelly flew in from Waymart to get away from reality for a bit. It was so nice to have her and she picked a gorgeous weekend to be here. The weather was showing every sign of Spring so we spent a lot of time just hanging around outside and of course, eating! Raleigh has a ton of good food and we love when people visit so that we can eat it all! Her visit also fell on the second Monday which lead us to the Busy Bee for the Pinecone Bluegrass Jam. It's simply good beer and good jammin'. It's becoming a regular thing for us if I'm not working and several family members have now had the pleasure of enjoying it too. It was sad to see Kelly head back, but we only had a few days before our next two visitors!

Dad and Gwen just left this afternoon for GA to visit my stepsister, Erin. They arrived last Friday night and we figured they'd be exhausted from driving so we ordered Lilly's pizza and made a fire pit outside. It was a perfect way to catch up. We kept them rather busy the next couple of days because we get so excited to have visitors. We headed downtown for the St. Patrick's Day parade on Saturday and although we really couldn't see much of the parade, the people-watching was spectacular and it was the most beautiful day to just simply be outside. After the parade we drove over to the Farmer's Market and picked out some things for dinner. Of course, by the time we were about to head home, we quickly realized that no one felt like cooking and headed to one of our favorite restaurants, J. Betski's, instead. It was delicious and totally worth taking all of our market finds home to the refrigerator.

The temperature took a chillier drop on Sunday so we slept in and I cooked up some shrimp and grits for everyone. It was a great easy morning. We later headed out to the flea market, but didn't stay long because of the cold. Shaun took us over to tour his workplace and then we were craving a good burger and treated ourselves to Chuck's. I am a lover of fries and these are top notch and pair perfectly with their malt vinegar aioli :) With our bellies full, we headed back home for an easy evening in our pajamas.

It was so nice to have the house full of some family the past couple of weekends. We absolutely love to share our city with people! We're looking forward to our next set of visitors although I'm not sure who that is. The house is now quiet, the dogs are pooped and those Farmer's Market finds are still in the fridge. I should probably ignore my city this week and use them up.
Raleigh at night during Kelly's visit at the Boylan Bridge Brewpub 


Monday, January 7, 2013

Reset Button

Time in the mountains is just something I simply need. It's always a reset button for me. To welcome the year of 2013, Shaun and I decided to head to a cabin near Hendersonville, NC.
A rather long gravel driveway led up to the little cabin. We were greeted at the bottom by a big bloodhound/mastiff-looking dog that we eventually would name "Hank". Shaun had to get out of the car to make sure I didn't run him over! After Shaun got back in the car, Hank was like a Wal-Mart greeter and walked in front of the car all the way up the driveway and led us right up to the cabin steps. It was too funny! Hank and the other neighbor dogs visited from time to time throughout our four day stay.

After arriving at the cabin and taking inventory of supplies and amenities, we let Parker and Maisey play for a bit and then headed out for a "quick" trip to the grocery store. Ha! We took a wrong turn somewhere and our quick trip turned into a 40-minute drive to the store! Needless to say, we stocked up for our stay and ate great while we were there.

The next morning I went downstairs to make tea. The peace and quiet was incredible. I took my tea out into the cold morning and walked with the dogs around the property. I love breathing in that chilly mountain air. It feels like it cleanses the entire body and mind. Before getting to the cabin, Shaun and I were looking forward to silence, reading and relaxing. However, while I was outside, I felt slightly rejuvenated and was hoping he'd wake up and want to go hiking somewhere. I headed excitedly back inside (brrr!) and picked up the DuPont State Forest map that was lying on the kitchen table. I chose what I thought would be a good hike and when Shaun came down the stairs, I bombarded him with my excitement! Even in his sleepy state, he was excited too, but wanted to go for a quick run. A very quick run, indeed. Those hills and lack of oxygen brought him back to the cabin in about twenty minutes and then we were off for a hike!
A relaxing morning with Mr. Tea
DuPont is over 10,000 acres of forest and is filled with trails and waterfalls. The map we had was handy and the trails were very well marked. Not sure what it's like the rest of the year, but we only ran into a handful of people the whole hike and not one of them gave us crap for our dogs being off leash! So yes, Parker and Maisey had the best time...EVER!


The first hike we did was about four miles long and led to an amazing view. There's nothing I love more than a hike with a view! It was the perfect spot to share peanuts and a beer among the clouds.


When we did the first day's hike, we ran into the most lovely older couple who spotted Bridal Veil Falls from the current view above. The next day, we decided it to make it our next adventure. The journey there wasn't all too exciting. We were on dirt roads most of the time and I didn't know if they were accessible by cars so I was nervous about letting the dogs run amuck. We did come across an old airstrip landing with an incredible view.

"Airstrip Trail" in DuPont

It was neat to stand in the middle of it and think about how it probably used to be busy with planes coming and going. On this day, it felt particularly desolate. I felt very tiny standing on it. Not just my normal small, but very tiny :)

We eventually made it to Bridal Veil Falls and took a moment to take in it's beauty. The dogs just wanted to swim around, so part of our time was spent convincing them that it wasn't the best idea. Where would they be without us to tell them "no"? Hypothermic, probably.

Bridal Veil Falls
Since we weren't satisfied with our hike to the falls, we decided to plan a different way back. Shaun found us a way and we set off. There weren't any views, but it was so nice to let the dogs run around for some fun and we simply enjoyed the sounds of nature. In the middle of the hike, I got the urge forsome human contact so we sped up a little in hopes that we could get back to the cabin in time to shower and make it into downtown Hendersonville before things closed for the night (it was a Sunday, y'all). 

The downtown was pretty cute! We talked about how it felt like a baby Boulder, CO. Ok, it wasn't even close, but we admired how it felt tucked into the mountain setting. There were cute little shops to enjoy (most of the them closed for the day), but we managed to make it into Mast General Store which I always enjoy and getting a little something for the pups at a store called Wag. It was pretty chilly that day and the sun was starting to set so we headed into the Black Rose Pub for a beer and some food. The Shepherd's Pie was the perfect cozy meal. 

Downtown Hendersonville, NC
The final day at the cabin was bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, the whole trip was relaxing, but I always feel like I finally start to truly RELAX after a few days. New Year's Eve (the final day) was absolutely perfect and filled with nothing. I hung out with Mr. Tea a few times and finished a book outside on the porch with a cozy fire, my baby by my side, my dogs running around like maniacs and the smell of pork and sauerkraut (a northern tradition to bring good luck) permeating the entire cabin. I found myself reflecting on 2012 intermittently and looking ahead to 2013 and what it might bring.

I don't make resolutions. They more often than not get broken, but yeah, there are things that I'm looking forward to this year: a possible trip to Europe (or wherever our little heart's decide), more volunteering, riding lessons, more running/lifting, perhaps a new hobby, continuing to decorate our house, more fun moments with my love and our dogs (friends, too) and... a baby? Will this be our year? Who knows? All of us look forward to a fresh start whenever a new year starts over. We all seem to picture it going perfectly and as our best year yet. But, even if the year doesn't go as planned, every moment and experience (good or bad) is one to grow from. Overall, I look forward to growing more this year (not vertically, of course). I also look forward to another moment, at another cabin, where I can prop my feet up by another cozy fire.

The end of 2012