New Wobbles and Mom Woes

Eleven months. Seriously? It's unbelievable that I am totally into planning their one year party. I never thought I would get into it because I know that they will not remember it or do not realize what's going on, but thanks to Pinterest it's too easy to go nuts! Plus, I'm looking at it more of a celebration for us as a unit. We have (almost) survived a year! However, thinking about the next road we're about to go down (toddlerhood) produces an impending panic attack. For now, let me reflect on the most recent passing month and I'll just keep pretending that I will have two perfect toddler angels.

Over the Labor Day weekend and shortly after they turned ten months, we returned to Topsail Island for some beach time. The boys had a fantastic time, but the only sitting down Shaun and I got to enjoy was when they were napping! I don't even know why we even packed our beach chairs. Did I really picture myself sitting back and sipping on my Corona with lime? *Side note: although I'm a beer snob, my beach drink of choice is Corona with a lime.* The boys were entertained by sitting in tidal pools splashing for an entire hour! When the hour was up, we pretty much let them crawl up and down the beach and bent down every five seconds to retrieve a seashell that was heading into the mouth. They surprisingly didn't eat that much sand this time. I guess they moved on to seashells...and it was always the tiny ones!

The room we rented was an efficiency so it was basically one large open space. I was worried about how it would work out, but it was nice because when the boys would go down for a nap, Shaun and I were forced to sit out on the balcony and relax! Well, I thoroughly enjoyed my time out there reading magazines and just watching the ocean waves. Shaun would go running and didn't figure out how peaceful it was until the last day.

Upon our return from the trip, Owen had a low grade fever and was randomly fussy. We chalked it up to teething like we always do. By the way, neither of them have any teeth yet! Anyway, on the third day of the low fever, we decided we should take him to the doctor. It turned out that he had about seven ulcers in the back of his mouth. These and the low grade fever meant hand, foot and mouth disease. Such an awful name for a little virus! Of course, being a virus only meant that as soon as Owen felt better, Emmett began feeling bad. It was such an awful week of being out of routine and dealing with unhappy babes. Shaun did an awesome job trying to come home as early as possible and even took a personal day when I broke down in tears out of pure frustration. I was glad when the week was over and I had my monsters back!

Thank goodness they rid their bodies of that because it was time for Sproutsongs to begin! This program was recommended to me by a teacher friend and although I was hesitant because of the cost, I am so glad we enrolled. I believe that music is vital to a person. I believe it's just something you need in your life. You can use music to relax, to workout, to take you back to a certain moment in time, to cope and so on and so on. With that said, O and E have been having so much fun with all the music...probably too much fun! They are the animals of the class. Toddlers in the room don't even move as much as these two! Although I absolutely love watching them enjoying themselves, sadly it made me question myself as a mother. Am I doing something wrong? Do I have no control? Why are my boys so crazy busy and all over the place?! Of course there is no judgement in this particular class. They love for the kids to be themselves, but I still can't seem to shut my worrying mind off that others are judging me and my boys. Another example is story time at the library. I can no longer go by myself with them because they are all over the place and in different directions! I was getting "the look" from other Moms which made me embarrassed so now I make sure to have a friend with me to play man on man defense.

The main point is why should I be embarrassed? They are eleven months old and have discovered that there is a whole world to explore! This self Mom judgement I have has been a (new) recent struggle. Until now, I was always this confident mother, but now that I'm getting the "look" from other mothers, I have begun to question my parenting. It shouldn't be this way. Being a Mom is a REALLY hard job. We shouldn't be judging one another, but perhaps lending a hand because each of us knows how difficult it is.

Of course when I share my feelings with friends they tell me I'm doing an amazing job and yadda yadda yadda. I think it's just a parent thing that you will always question whether or not you're raising your children right and wonder how you'll screw them up. Aren't we all screwed up somehow? It's almost like it's inevitable not to screw up your kids in some way or another. I'm trying to come to terms that I will not be a perfect parent and I will not have perfect children. So go explore boys and I'll deal with the looks for now. I don't want perfection and neither should you my little monsters. I want you to be you! Speaking of being you, here's what each of you are up to these days...

Owen

Owen has been very independent this month. He loves to stand and clap or stand and bang two things together. He seems to love noise! He's very into the instruments at Sproutsongs and giggles when you hold him to dance to the beat. I'm pretty sure he'll be our first walker. His favorite toy is probably the cat bowl and Maisey loves when it gets tossed around because it makes crazy reflections on the walls. She is going to love having these boys as play buddies! I'm sure she'll especially love Owen because he lo
ves to play with balls and that includes the millions of tennis balls that Maisey has lying around. It seems he really digs the animals' toys! His favorite noise to make is a high pitched squeal and he loves it when Emmett chases him!

Emmett

Emmett has taken a turn from being the more independent one and now touches your leg or pulls at your pants to be held. He's still very good at entertaining himself, but when he wants to be snuggled, he'll let you know. Although it's very sweet, it always seems to happen when I'm trying to cook dinner and wish for him to be independent! But of course, I welcome the snuggles. When he is playing, he loves his cars and trucks. He's got a firetruck and tow truck that seem to be perfect for his little hands and he pushes them all around the house and gets very upset when Owen comes and takes them away. It's cute to watch him put them on chairs and make little motor noises as he pushes them around. I think he learned that from hearing Shaun. He's also standing on his own, clapping and waving bye bye. He's our morning talker and I love listening to him when he first wakes up. He's got this sweet little lullaby-like voice, but that little voice gets louder throughout the day. He loves the instruments at Sproutsongs too, but his voice really comes alive during the class more than Owen's. He also loves the chase game and that includes chasing our cat!

It's time to forget my Mom woes and focus on these new wobbles. Walking, here we come! For now, I hope to focus on my confidence as a parent. I know if I lead by example then my little monsters will follow. Happy eleven months Owen and Emmett. I love you both so much!

Best shot I could get of them together...too busy to pose now!