The month went so fast that I didn't keep my usual log of happenings.Yikes! I recall the boys getting to see their first couple of snows. In the same month, they also got to ride in the stroller without getting all bundled up and go sockless. Crazy weather! Even as I write this it's 25 degrees and freezing rain is coming down. Yesterday we were all in t-shirts enjoying the sun and 72 degree air! Anyway, back to the kiddos...
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| Owen |
They're also a lot more active. The activity mat (baby gym) is now a place where they don't mind hanging out. It's also where they're trying really hard to roll over. It's so frustrating to watch them rock back and forth only to get stuck on their side. I just want to give them a little push to help them out! They also love it when you put them above your head and fly them around. I imagine it's like a whole new world up there! The other thing they both enjoy is being held up so they can stand and bounce. I attempted putting them in an exersaucer, but even propped up with blankets and books stacked underneath their feet, they're still too small to enjoy it. We'll get there!
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| Emmett |
A new favorite book has entered the house. On Valentine's Day, Shaun and I scored a few free hours
so naturally we ended up at the public library (my how times have changed!) to pick up some new books for the boys. We brought one home called The Pout-Pout Fish and it was a hit! They get the biggest kick out of us reading one particular part and going into a very dull sounding "Blub, bluuub, bluuuuuuuub". We sadly had to return the book over the weekend, but have the part they like memorized so we've added it to our repertoire of things that make them smile.
This month was MUCH better than the last. Three are still some rocky days here and there, but I'm managing them a whole lot better. After putting the boys to bed one night, I realized a list of things that were not normal for me. I seemed fearful of what the next day would bring and when the next day finally did arrive, I found myself counting down the hours until Shaun got home. I loved visitors, but would hate when they would leave because I was scared to be alone with the boys again. It was that night that I was reflecting on all of these things among others that I realized that it was not
normal. I didn't want to not look forward to being with my buggies (that's what I call them) and I
didn't want to fear being alone with them. I made an appointment with my OB and we talked about
my bluesy feelings. It was hard for me to make that appointment and admit that I was having a tough
time, but I'm so glad I went. My midwife made me feel like what I was going through was completely normal and now, talking to other moms, I have also found out that I am not alone.
so naturally we ended up at the public library (my how times have changed!) to pick up some new books for the boys. We brought one home called The Pout-Pout Fish and it was a hit! They get the biggest kick out of us reading one particular part and going into a very dull sounding "Blub, bluuub, bluuuuuuuub". We sadly had to return the book over the weekend, but have the part they like memorized so we've added it to our repertoire of things that make them smile.
This month was MUCH better than the last. Three are still some rocky days here and there, but I'm managing them a whole lot better. After putting the boys to bed one night, I realized a list of things that were not normal for me. I seemed fearful of what the next day would bring and when the next day finally did arrive, I found myself counting down the hours until Shaun got home. I loved visitors, but would hate when they would leave because I was scared to be alone with the boys again. It was that night that I was reflecting on all of these things among others that I realized that it was not
normal. I didn't want to not look forward to being with my buggies (that's what I call them) and I
didn't want to fear being alone with them. I made an appointment with my OB and we talked about
my bluesy feelings. It was hard for me to make that appointment and admit that I was having a tough
time, but I'm so glad I went. My midwife made me feel like what I was going through was completely normal and now, talking to other moms, I have also found out that I am not alone.
I went back and forth about whether or not I should share my story about my postpartum blues, but how could I not? I'm honest in every other blog post, so why hold back now? If this post gives one person that push to go get some help for the low that they feel after having their whole world changed, then I feel that my story was worth sharing. Up to 80% of new moms experience these blues so obviously I am not alone. I felt like I was doing all that I could to prevent any sad feelings: walking everyday, getting out with the boys, visiting with friends, getting back to work, taking my placenta pills. Yes, I had my placentas encapsulated. That's a totally different blog post so google it or ask me privately about it if you're curious, but research shows that the placenta helps prevent postpartum depression. Was I depressed? No. Perhaps some of the previously listed things prevented a bad depression, but I was not the mother I wanted to be. I wanted to be in the moment and not anxious and the medication I'm on now helps me to do just that. I guess we all need a little help sometimes...from family, friends, neighbors, food, alcohol, exercise, or little blue pills!
A heavy ending to this blog. My apologies. I'm a Sagittarius and brutally honest :)
What will month four to five bring?! I'm (now) looking forward to finding out! Happy 4 months Owen and Emmett...I love you both so much!
